Day 32, April 10
We are having more and more problems with my “friend” who I think lost his damn mind. He is getting vicious and verbally attacking me over facebook. I realize I have been putting this off for a while, the conflict. First, because I dont need another person talking shit about me, when I have went the extra mile and its someone who has a following and will use the social pressure to “witchcraft of the mouth” anybody.. That’s the problem… the person just goes and attacks anyone. They aint right in the head, and I just dont have time energy and I am not the person to do the work they should be doing. I got my own shit to deal with… but when your a public figure, I guess that does not matter. I should have known that toxicity would be forced out because thats what Kali does. Remove blockages to spiritual progress. This was a block and when I let it go, she’ll offer benefits. I left the toxcity stay in my life way too long, and thats what the meaning is. Always hoping for the best outcome, but the truth is people have to reach to those outcomes, lest I am just daydreaming. No steps forward, its just wishful thinking for someone else. Its neither results nor actually helpful.
Its simple really, when in a spiritual set of lessons from spirits, keep yourself clear, stable and amicable. Lash out, get depressed, and take it out on everyone, when your frustrated, shit gets monumentally worse. Cuase they see what you really want, is pain so they mirror it. Taking it out on someone who basically you are magically a scared of is like suicide. Its stupid, petty, and weak. Trying to take it out on their social network because your having life problems and using witchcraft of the mouth, is pathetic. Sure it might do some damage, but it helps nothing.
I came out and tried to the mantra but was just so sore… I got through some japamala and passed out, but was a little late. The mantra I am working with is frustratingly elusive and difficult. Lots of results but frustrating mantra….
I am going to try to get back to video blogs but Shit got so personal that its easier to write about it.