If I was honest,  I would see this challenge as a failure of planning.  First off, the knees really hurt.  So I could do a 30-40 minute walk, then the next day 15.  Life events also stepped in ( where I had trouble scheduling the walks as needed because of child care arrangements).  So things conspired against me strongly.

That doesnt mean I have not been doing meditational work.

Corrections in my plan:

1.  Reiki work on myself.  This is helping, 30 minutes or so a day is helping alot.  Knees getting stronger.  THIS is working.

2.  Revisit and jumb back into Tai Chi.  The difficulty there is mostly in time… I will probably have to give up toastmasters.  I am going to do that.  Contacted several Sifu’s in the area to see who is not an asshole.

3.  Straight up Gigong work.

Switching to a body alchemy / Taoist route in paradigm is in order.  They might not teach the energy work, but I know it.   I got to switch back to this… and be millitant about it.  I can fucking do it.

So far I have had alot of internal and external issues, I had a sleep study ( yep have sleep apnea, No I wont use a CPAP), and after moving my house is still very trashed.  This all aint helping the calm as it were.     

So on external things:  Getting on the clutter be gone train, its seriously fucking with my headspace.  So seriously, I am going to start with the ritual room and move from there.   The timing requires that I cut things, I already am now refusing any new clients end stop.  That should make time for myself ( I will still magical work for previous clients).

Internal things, a little tougher.  I dont ask for sympathy on facebook, but really headspace wise, I need to do alot of healing work.  Purification actually would be more correct.  Too much poison from trauma, and toughing it out, not enough rebuilding.  Time to flip that, get back on the fire magic train and writing that book and get shit rolling as far as pure clean fucking energy not segmented bullshit loops in my head.  Time to break the fucking loops now that I own a house and get all the scheduling issues in line.  I got through the traumas and sufferings of the last couple years and by EVERY measure of success was successful.  It had a mental cost, and now to purge all that.