Day 23 – was really tired, but I tried, but feel asleep after about 5 minutes and woke when the guided meditation was over.
Day 24 – I’ve started my daemon mediation with a daemon that I’ve worked with before, Marbas. And WOW, the shit just got real. No chatter at all.
I’ve placed 3 teacandle in a triangle, in the triangle I placed my obsidian sphere and a piece of paper, where I drew the sigil of Marbas and wrote the enn. While I did this I was vibrating the enn over and over again, like a mantra.
I then focused on the sigil, just looked, emptying my mind. And I found out that I somehow had alter my mind to “observation mode”, this mode was “turned on” for almost the entire session, I became aware of this when I say white coming out from within the sphere, and I just went..”ahh look smoke “.
Sadly I don’t know how I entered that state, so I don’t know I can replicate that tomorrow.
When I looked into the sphere it felt like my back was placed against the inside of the sphere and I was sucked into the center of the sphere, the room was spinning, like I just got home from a very long out drinking. It seemed to go on forever. The reflection of the candles seemed to move closed together, the surface of the sphere got a greenish glow and I saw that white smoke was coming out from within the sphere.
I also realised why my eyes have been feeling tired and dry the last 2 weeks. I barely for blinked for 30 minuts. I thanks Marbas for the insight, why him. Because I have been wondering about my eyes for the last 10 days and the answer came to first night I meditated on Marbas.
Tomorrow I my alter the setup. But more on that tomorrow
If this continues, I don’t know what’s gonna happen.
The thing about my dream, that I still remember, now 3 days later, was that I was approached in my dream by a former co-worker, but in the dream he was my former trainer. He asked my how my health was doing and how my training was coming along. I told him that I have had some problems with my heart and that I’ve been hospitalized for observation, he then looked me, mind you that I’m not all that fit, and said “well why don’t you do something about it then”, I told him that I couldn’t find the time and that I wasn’t dead yet. He replied “no, not yet. But come on that’s just lazy”