I have to be honest, I thought about giving up over the past few days. I’ve been thinking that Belphegor was bullshitting me about results, plus I was starting to worry about what kind of effects this work might be having on me energetically.
I had a chat with Rufus Opus over Facebook Messenger yesterday, because he used to sell a book on how to recover from demon magic and had some negative experiences working with demons in the past. He told me that he thought it was worth continuing my work with Belphegor and just not be attached to the results. He thought that overall, it would be good experience for me, and he thought I wouldn’t get messed up like he did working constantly with the Goetia. He also said that demons get results; it’s just good to keep in mind that they can be assholes, and they often work in ways you don’t expect (and angels do the same, although they aren’t as much assholes about it).
So I decided to continue. Actually, one of the reasons I do the Padmasambhava prayer before each operation isn’t just for protection, but also because in some ways it’s symbolic of following in his footsteps. He wasn’t afraid to encounter demons and get them to work for him (and in his case, he got them to work for him forever). And a lot of times, they weren’t very obliging at first.
The other thing I will reveal is that I’ve started doing some work with the goddess Hekate. I may elaborate on that a bit later, but my connection with her started with a working that Jason Miller sent out, and then I recently had a talk with a Hellenismos practitioner that I know. Let’s just say that Hekate seems to really like me and could provide a big boost to my work. I did a petition to her tonight for a rather urgent matter.
So I summoned Belphegor last night through the usual means and started asking some questions with the pendulum. I asked Belphegor (who seemed to show up as a male last night, but in a much subdued form) whether he was delivering some of the results I’ve gotten already, and he said yes.
Because I’ve been worried about my car (still), I decided to ask whether it’s time to get rid of my current car. Still getting a no on that one. Ok ….
I asked whether it was time to put my resume on Careerbuilder. I got a yes on that one.
I asked whether the other business opportunity that I had gotten a “no” to previously would work if I were to do an offering to Hekate, and I got a “yes”.
I asked whether Belphegor needs any other offerings besides rum to do more work for me. I got a no.
I may have asked another question or two, but I don’t remember at the moment. I burned the sigil with the rum outside and did banishings.
Early this morning, I had a really negative dream. It felt like I was in an alternate reality version of my bedroom, but there was some kind of dark entity present that just looked like a dark cloud. The energy in the room wasn’t good. There were some very dark books on the bookshelves as well. The one that stood out was one titled simply “Zombies.” Now, I’m not a person that has ever been into the whole zombie craze. I don’t watch any of those shows (I was always more into vampires).
I woke up and didn’t feel great, which is understandable anyway because I didn’t get near enough sleep this weekend. And it seems like a lot of stuff just sucked overall today.
I’m feeling like I’ll need to do some banishing work tonight. I’d also like to find a different way to do the work occasionally … maybe something in the dream state.