Well tonight I did the same as yesterday except I did a salt banishing before hand. tonight went really smooth. Santa showed up lit his pipe while we chatted about the day I asked him how they stayed warm up at the north poll. he answered magic. said that the rookie deer are shaping up nicely. tonight I decided to try a game in RL. connect four, it was fun as we sat around and talked. I asked him about the offerings and talking to others about him. he was genuinely not worried. and that eating it was fine though it is nicer to at least dedicate a but to him before consuming it. back to milk and nutty bars for tonight’s offering. I found out he doesn’t like hot coco… well at least not as a offering for Christmas. the problem is good hot coco is tricky. you got to be there at just the right time not a second before or after. plus some it is like hot water that was scented chocolate (that was new, I may need to banish more) Anyways he won then I won. I made a comment that he let me win. this upset him, he basically is frustrated because there is no way to prove himself to me. If he wins all the games or i do is it just one letting the other win. if he grants a wish or boon then he is just pandering to me. there is nothing he can do that can prove that he is who he says he is. mainly this is my problem because I still worry and doubt. he didn’t seem up set just annoyed like he wants this to work out but he is having a hard go of it. we played some more 1:1 each as we talked about it. The main jests are: (sorry over an hour long conversation I am not transcribing all of it)
That he is nervous too. people expect him to have all the answers but he ain’t done this before and he wants this to work to. is he just pontificating as I zone out.
to stop doubting it ain’t that he doesn’t want to be questioned it is just the answers won’t matter.
Stop worrying we are suppose to be friends that is the point of this right. (wow my writing is a lot different from how Santa said it it sounded better from him.) the issue here is because when ever he shows the littlest bit of displeasure I get whimpery and upset.
treat an entitiy like you would anyone else you call up. Also stop over doing the humility and humbleness. unless you just want to spend the rest of your days groveling under a gods boot. how you approach will dictate how you are treated.
then we talked about my fears and why I get upset so much with this. basically I am still awe struck that OMG I’m talking to Santa. first time you always want to go perfect. also I am trying to do this “right” or “proper”
Also fear of wasting time trying for the impossible and failing. while something 99% as good is easily obtained. the usual of looking silly and am I just sitting here talking and playing with myself. but then Santa reminded me I do that anyways.
He also volunteered to throw a “snow ball” (no idea what that means) at who ever I wanted to help vet him. I declined though.
I think that was it.
then we decided to head out I closed it all down and laughed it clear I need an extra song for the clean up.