Oct 20, 2013 – Second day of Restart. Trying to do more physical qi gong. Finding my posture has improved and structurally able to stand longer. Still some tense spots on my lesft arm but feel much more grounded. Yesterday qi gon left me feeling sore but waking up today its been quite refreshing. The pain in my right ankle also disbursed. And seems like qi gong is making me hungry. Quite an odd feeling.
Doing this work is also making me question my existing habits and values. A part of me wants to pursue this path but ther'es a part of me also fearfulof where it could lead to. I see that if continued down this path, there will be habits I need to break and probably friends lost. Perhaps its the loneliness that I fear most. Its times like this It makes me question why have children. Neither choice seems per fect or ideal, either be great and isolated, or ignorant and live the mundane. At any rate, there doens't see m like there's a way back, so perhaps the only path is to keep going, whatever happens will happen.