I went for a walk today, intending to do the energy work sitting in the grass in the baseball field, but when I got there there was a guy and his two little kids, who had apparently lost a flying radio-controlled something-or-other in the trees. The guy was angry and yelling at his kids and saying things like 'Well there's $90 dollars down the drain." I sat down some ways away and tried to ignore him, but all I could think was that he'd just told those little kids that $90 was more important to him than they were. And as a grown-up kid who used to have a miserly hoarder father, I knew the math those kids were doing in their heads because I've done that math, and it made me very sad. If we could just not make more problems, you know?
So after a time I left, and went home, where I did some chores like taking out the trash; then I sat down upstairs to do the energy work.
I tried some white light as a preliminary cleansing, but I was having a hard time with it.
My schedule has been screwed up, even for me; the last few nights I'd been watching a TV show marathon and my head's been filled with that world (mind you, I pretty much never watch TV). Now it's a good show and I want to see it, but my head, ai yi. So when I sat down to meditate all these thoughts of the characters and plots and that universe were floating around; I pictured attaching weights to each of those thoughts so that they fell to the ground. Then I swept them up and put them in a bag, tied the bag and put it in a closet. I also charged the imaginary envisioned bag with the magnetic ability to attract any other thoughts about the show/characters that might arise, and bind them to the others. I can take it out when I want to, but for just then I needed to not be thinking about it.
I have been, as I've said, feeling rather out of balance lately, so I did a Tarot reading for looking at the balance of elements around/within me. I drew a center card for me then four more for each element. It pointed out some interesting things, like water coming up pentacle pentacle pentacle telling me something's kind of gludged up, that sort of thing.
I then did an elemental meditation, visualizing feeling, smelling and hearing each element. While I was there I also looked at each to see how I was out of balance and how to fix that. Air was mostly okay; water was as I said stoppered or thick. I imagined cleaning drains and filtering things until it ran freely and clearly. Fire was also all right, like air, and earth wasn't too bad too. In the Tarot reading I also got plenty of references to work and art, and while I was doing the meditation I was also pulling more cards to clarify, like what isn't flowing? for water and getting the ten of pentacles, which I took to mean money, that sort of thing. All in all it was very interesting and I've got a direction to go in, at least for the near future, so that helped.
Then I pulled in energy from each direction plus above and below, creating an energy ball and putting each into it, while thinking of the specific project/direction that was the message of the Tarot cards. Air is to balance focus and inspiration, water needs to get flowing properly and steadily (knowing that things go in cycles, of course; I was thinking steady in the big picture), fire is to keep the passion and drive to get things done, and earth to give it a solid foundation and the commitment to finish. Below is to connect with the numinous Divine and potential, and above to my Higher Self, who I assume knows what's best for me.
All in all it felt pretty productive.